Choices
by Wildlyirish
Summary: What did happen the last night in the basement? Would Buffy let her guard down? What events could she change?


Buffy stood at the foot of the stairs, staring at the blonde immortal in front of her, the light casting shadows into the hollows of his cheeks, gleaming across his eyes and striking the tips of his ears. He gazed back at her, a thousand questions shading across his face, his emotions playing like a green screen. But he wasn't going to move. He knew that tomorrow, there would be hell to pay, and he was scared. All he wanted was to relive that last two nights. They were easily the best nights of his existence.

They had been enemies, turned into friends, talked, kissed, and fucked each other stupid, but it could not compare to lying with her. Only then were the stressed lines smoothed from her features, her defensive walls laid to a temporary rest. Her breath had slowed and deepened, then quickened again in his arms as she slept and awoke. He found it ironic that of all the times they had been together, she had only stayed with him when they had done absolutely nothing.

_I guess the end of the world does things to a lady. _He thought ironically.

She walked forward to him, her gaze dropping as she approached. When she stood before him, he was silent, letting his eyes do the talking. She met his gaze with hers, an emotion he had never seen before lighting her eyes. His quizzical brow tuned her in, and she dropped her gaze as she spoke. "Well, you're not the only one terrified now." She tried a hand at lightness, but her voice cracked as quickly as her smile.

Spike let his instincts guide him, and put his arm around her shoulders and sat her on his bed. She leaned against him and sighed, the tension easing from her shoulders. " I can't save them all. I know that. This plan will definitely change the outcome... if it works... but I can't help all of them." Spike was startled to see a single tear course down her cheek.

"Hey now love, don't get like that. You have saved them. Without you, the little platelets would have been killed off a long time ago." Spike sat her upright and got on his knees in front of her. " And you've saved me. I was unsaveable, but not to you. You pulled me out of the deepest circles of despair, and now I will fight by your side. We will win, and all your little bleeders there will be safe and sound like puppies in spring."

Buffy looked at him, her watery smile changing to a look of determined recklessness.

"Spike, I love you", she burst out suddenly. "I have to tell you. I'm in love with you, I want to love you, and I want to be loved by you. I wanted to tell you now, incase..."

He stood, backing up in shock. "Don't. Do. That. I can't bear it. Don't tell me just because you think we all might kick the can tomorrow. You can't do that to me. I will love you, always, but I don't want you to lower yourself to make me feel good."

Buffy stood and strode towards him, her now dry eyes fierce and wide. "Spike, I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for me. I love you. I want you, and after this is all over, I want you some more. Please believe me. I love you, I love you,I love you, I love you." As she was repeating this vow, Spike walked to her and took her face in his hands, his face awash with awe.

"Tell me again." He demanded huskily, his hands moving down to grip her wrists. And thank God, her gaze remained fixed on his eyes, and she didn't flinch as she repeated, "I love you, i want you, I love you, I love you forever," and her eyes lit up as she realized how good those words felt to say.

Buffy raised her had, freeing her arm from his grasp, and touched his face, stroking the razors edge of his cheekbones, the delicate skin of his eyelids when he closed his eyes, the slight crease in his forehead. She allowed her hand to slip down and grasp the side of his face, then paused, her eyes questioning. Spike nodded once to confirm that yes, this was right.

That was all Buffy needed to encourage her to pull him down to her level and kiss him. their mouths melded together, and the sudden, delicious feeling of their tongues entwining sent suck a shock of delight through Spikes body that Buffy pulled back and stared at him in alarm. But he laughed, almost a growl, and swept her into his arms again, turning them towards the bed. She moaned softly into Spikes ear as he lay her down, angling his body so he wouldn't be right on top of her. He pulled back and looked at her, laying in the crook of his arm on the bed. Buffy stared back, beathing hard, lips swollen, eyes overbright.

"What is it?" Spike asked, terrified that he had pushed her too far, that this was wrong.

"I just never thought I would be back here again. How could I have turned away from this? Said no to you?" Buffy answered, he voice awestruck. Spike chuckled softly. "well luv, I don't think I could say no to me either". She pulled Spike back down to her, sliding her arms around his back, feeling for the hem of his shirt.

Spike felt her sudden intake of breath against his ear as he delicately felt the outline of her breast through her shirt, his hand tracing lower and lower, circling her belly button under the thin fabric. Buffy suddenly flipped them over so she was on top, the reached for him, sitting him upright. she sat straddling him, and raised her hands over her head. Spike found her gaze, and in the brief moment where the cotton of her shirt covered her eyes, Buffy heard him groan in delight.

Spike found that with most of his other partners he offered sounds of delight to placate them, but with Buffy, he could barely hold them in. She sat with her wonderfully strong legs draped around him, her arms behind her back as she unclasped her bra. As soon as it was done, Spike pulled it off of her long, lean torso and buried his face in her chest, inhaling her scent. Buffy moaned and arched into him. both pairs of jeans now obviously in the way. she carefully peeled away his shirt, noting how different this was from the other times they had been together. Memories of the brash, animalistic loving made her appreciate how wonderful this was, this slow, wonderous passion that turned the colour behind her eyelids violet and made her breath come in heady gasps.

When Spike was free of his shirt, Buffy Leaned forward and pressed them together like a living, breathing yin and yang symbol, loving the feeling of his cool skin on her overheated body. She traced the scars across his shoulders and chest, marvelling at the smoothness of his ravaged skin. Spike took her face in his hands and pressed his mouth to hers, kissing her slowly and sweetly, until her body begged for it, this sweet torture to end.

But he was far from done, and Spike lay them down together, helping her wiggle out of her pants as quickly as she was fumbling for his zipper. As soon as they were both devoid of any clothing, Buffy leaned over him, stretching out to cover his body with hers. Her skin came alive, rubbing against his with a wanton need that felt so deliciously good it was all she could do to stay sane as Spike simultaniously flipped them over and slid inside her. they both groaned with relief as Buffy shuddered around Spike and he smoothly moved his hips in tune with her arching back. They quickly balanced into a rythm that was both too fast and yet never ending. Buffys skin became beaded with sweat, steaming slightly in the cool basement air. Spike swept one arm beneath her back, gripping her shoulder and using the leverage to push deeper. Buffy moaned breathlessly and raised one knee to allow him better access. Spike panted heavily, drawing the unnecessary air into his lungs.

Buffy suddenly reached up and pushed on his shoulders, rolling him over with one quick, fluid motion. She pushed spike flat onto his back, straddling him. slowly, never moving her eyes from his, she lifted herself up and off him, teasing him by taking him in only an inch, then lifting herself up again. Spike closed his eyes, clenching his jaw in an effort to last. Then, when he knew he couldn't bear it much longer, Buffy lowered herself onto him completely. making them both sigh in delight. She moved her hips against him, slipping into a new rhythm, Spike guiding her hips with his hands.

They were both very close he knew, so he turned them both over and pumped hard, causing their breaths to come in gasps and starts, and a final desperate shuddering of her back and hips,

her eyes glazing and nails digging into his ivory skin.

"Love you Buffy ...love you so much"...

The words came in a moan as Spike reached his end, gasping her name as he buried his face in her sweet smelling neck.

Slowly, he rolled off Buffy onto his back, wrapping one arm around her and pulling her close. She snuggles her head onto his chest, listening to both their breathing slow.

Buffy slung one arm around Spikes waist, and he reached down and tilted her chin up for her to look at him. she spoke before he did.

"I love you Spike. I promise you."

he pulled her up to fit his body perfectly, running his fingertips lightly over her ribcage, down her side and over the line of her hip. They both drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep, wrapped in eachothers arms.


End file.
